Friday October 10, 2015--We went to the Collin County Courthouse for the sentencing of Mathew Thomas Wise. He had agreed to plead guilty to manslaughter and serve a 15 year sentence. While we wanted the maximum sentence, 20 years, we knew that the reality was that it was a long shot to get that in a trial. The DA told us that he'd never gotten the max in a trial. There is always that one person who can sympathize with the defendant and who will keep things from going to the max. We felt that avoiding the trial was worth it. A trial would have been hard emotionally on our family, especially Pearl.
Traffic was crazy and we got there late. But thankfully we weren't the only ones late. Randy Goodwin (DA) told us to take our time, they'd wait for us. But even when we got there we ended up waiting a long time.
The judge for this case was really tough. We got to sit in and watch him do some family law stuff dealing with custody issues for children who'd been removed and parents trying to prove themselves to get custody back. I would hope that no one in my family would ever be in front of him. He seemed fair but tough which seems like the thing these people needed.
Then it became our turn. I wasn't prepared for what I felt when they brought him in. It was very emotional. He was visibly remorseful, which was helpful. My sister, dad and I each had an opportunity to share "impact statements" and tell Mr. Wise how we felt about what he did. Pearl went first and she did amazingly, she had such courage. Then it was my turn.
"I am grateful for the opportunity to speak to you
today. I am grateful to Judge Roach and
to Randy Goodwin for the way he’s honored and respected our family through this
process.
I’ve honestly had a hard time with what I would say and I
hope that what’s in my heart can come across.
I want you to know what was lost on May 23rd.
I lost my mom on May 23rd. I miss her voice, I miss the way she felt when
she gave me a hug, and I miss her constant support and encouragement of me in
whatever I am doing. She had so much
wisdom that she can’t share with me now.
While I’m an adult and have my own life now, she often would swoop in to
help me. As I’ve grieved and struggled,
how many times I wish I could pick up the phone and ask her to come help me,
but it’s because she’s gone that I’m having such a hard time!! I have lost.
I feel I need to speak on behalf of her 11
grandchildren. On May 23rd, Kaitlyn,
Sam, Lindsey and Matthew; Grant, Grace, Aubrey and Paige; Eleanor, Clara, and
Wesley all lost their grandma. Some of
them are so young they won’t remember her.
One of them never met her, he lives on the other side of the world and
was coming a month after her death, but because she was killed, he never will
know her. He lost, and they all lost.
My mother adored her grandchildren. She will now miss piano recitals, soccer
games, choir concerts, and birthday breakfasts to go get donuts. She will miss Scout Court of Honors,
Graduations, Mission Farewells, and weddings.
One of her favorite sounds in the world was to hear happy grandchildren
squeal her name in delight, “Grandma!”
She will wait a long time to hear that greeting again. She has lost.
My mother was a friend to the friendless. She always saw people for the good they had
in them and loved even those who were hard to love. She was loyal to her friends and once she
loved you, she never stopped. The world
has lost a great friend and a good person.
And now you, Mr. Wise have lost. You’ve lost your freedom for a little
while. And I think that’s good. There are consequences in life for choices
both good and bad. But the difference
for you is that your loss isn’t permanent.
In time you will have another chance to make better choices. You have the opportunity to change and be
better. I plead with you to change. I know that change is possible. I asked my children yesterday if there was
anything they’d like to say to you, the man who killed their grandma. Want to know what they said? Please don’t get in any more accidents. Please drive more carefully. Please don’t do drugs anymore or drink and
drive. Please learn from this and don’t
hurt another family like you have ours.
I want you to know I forgive you. But it’s a choice I make every day. Every time I miss her, every time I want to
call her, every time I think of her mangled body that I helped to prepare to be
buried, every time my kids or I have an event we know she wouldn’t have missed
for anything! I forgive you because I
don’t have room in my life for hate or anger and because I need peace. I forgive because I’m like my mother who
always loved and forgave and saw people for their goodness, it’s how she raised
me, and how she taught me to live my life because it’s how she lived hers."
This was the HARDEST thing I've ever done. But it was really freeing and brought a lot of peace.
AND I have the BEST friends who came out in force to show their love and support for me.
